Love Casts out Fear: After All, Addiction was not a Big Deal

Posted: January 6, 2016 by

Love casts out fear

 

Most of the people believe that the love they long for is just somewhere out there. That people are just waiting for the right moment to arrive – in God’s perfect time. Finding someone to love for a lifetime is probably one of the amazing encounters that a person can experienced. It is indeed one the greatest purpose in life, to find out who is the luckiest person that is meant for you, and only you. Undeniably, to love and to be loved by someone in return is such a wonderful feeling, a feeling that I would not trade for anything.

Thank God, I finally found someone whom I can share my life with, my soul mate, and my partner in everything. And yes, he’s an addict. I met him since I was high school, we were classmates back then. Ever since, he was an addict. Despite knowing this, I married him anyway. Why would I even bother? All I know is, I really love him, and for me, loving means acceptance. Love is accepting the whole person despite his insecurities and shortcomings.

For several years, while were still at the early stages of our relationship, there were evident signs that eventually occur. We had a lot of fights, a repetitive series of both petty and serious fights. Our fights were not that open to everyone. Bur closest peers knew how his addiction almost wrecked our relationship. How it brought me to tears and deep frustrations. How it our situation almost broke my heart into pieces. Being in a relationship with a person who is an addict is a life full of uncertainties, a world filled with troubles.

My husband struggles a lot with his addiction. With our innocent and young minds, way back in our college years, we’ve thought that this would not be a big problem for us in the future. Because all we know is we’re in love – it’s all that matters. As long as we’re together, everything will be okay. But there’s more than to that. He fights every day. After we engaged, his primary response was to simply give in, and he began thinking about our marriage. He tried to fight against his addiction. His struggles were never easy. He achieve sobriety for a while, but apparently, he was hooked again. But here I am, because I know that he’s not just battling with his addiction. But he’s fighting for us, for our relationship.

I came to a point thinking that maybe he’s not for me. I don’t deserve him. And maybe I have to look for a “better man”, a man who is just like anybody else, and a normal kind of man who is not a drug addict. I thought it was just easy for me to turn around and walk away. Yet, I caught myself having a hard time doing what I have thought to do. I can’t and I won’t. We promised to be there through thick and thin, to support each other no matter what the circumstances.

Until now, he’s trying. And he is doing his best to be not just a better husband, but also a better person. We are both fighting for our better future. Love might not be easy. But from what I’ve learned, love will always be worth it.

“Love, experienced thus, is a constant challenge; it is not a resting place, but a moving, growing, working together; even whether there is harmony or conflict; joy or sadness, is secondary to the fundamental fact that two people experience themselves from the essence of their existence, that they are only one with each other by being one with themselves, rather than by fleeing from themselves.” – Erich Fromm

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